Opening Soon (hah!)

Procrastination be damned! It's been almost three years — three! — since I wrote the former "Opening Soon" placeholder page and I still haven't finished my website! How embarrassing is that? Please feel free to bug me if I take much longer to get some work done.

A quick word of warning: any more comments about flying pigs, hell freezing over or Duke Nukem Forever Tool's new album The Winds of Winter being released will be answered with some fresh fruit and a pointed stick. Thank you. ;)